Field Report 006: The Mysterious Human Gas
The humans consume food.
Eventually, the food produces a gas.
The gas must then leave the human body.
This is apparently normal.
However, humans have developed an elaborate social system surrounding this process.
If the gas escapes quietly, nothing happens.
If it makes a sound, everyone immediately knows who did it.
The responsible human may deny everything.
Other humans may blame the dog.
Sometimes the human will leave the room before releasing the gas, apparently believing the gas will not follow.
It does.
The strangest behavior occurs when several humans are sitting together and one releases an especially powerful specimen.
Everyone becomes silent.
Everyone knows.
No one speaks.
Then someone finally asks:
> “Was that you?”
The accused human says:
> “No.”
The dog is blamed.
I have concluded that Earth’s atmosphere is not entirely natural.
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