Taco Friday: No Beer Allowed

There are rules in this house.

Some are important.

Some are completely ridiculous.

And then there is Taco Friday.

But before anybody gets confused, I need to disclose something important:

We also have Taco Tuesday.

Yes. Taco Tuesday.

This means tacos have somehow managed to occupy two separate days of the week without paying rent.

I don’t know how they pulled this off.

The Taco Schedule

Tuesday is Taco Tuesday.

Friday is Taco Friday.

Wednesday is apparently just Wednesday, which seems like a missed opportunity.

Thursday has been under investigation.

Monday refuses to participate.

Saturday and Sunday are independent contractors.

Nobody knows what happens on Wednesday.

But Tuesday and Friday?

Those days belong to tacos.

And Then There’s the Beer Rule

Here’s where things get weird.

No beer on Taco Friday.

I know.

It sounds unnatural.

Beer has spent decades building a relationship with tacos, and now I’m telling it that Friday is a dry taco zone.

Beer is not banned from life.

Beer is not banned from America.

Beer is not even banned from the refrigerator.

It’s simply not invited to Taco Friday.

That’s different.

Taco Tuesday Gets No Such Drama

Taco Tuesday doesn’t have to deal with all this bureaucracy.

It just shows up.

Tacos arrive.

Everyone knows what’s happening.

Nobody needs a press conference.

Friday, however, has become the complicated taco day.

Friday has regulations.

Friday has paperwork.

Friday has a Taco Council.

And apparently, the Taco Council has decided:

No beer.

The Future of Taco Civilization

I worry about what comes next.

Will we eventually have Taco Wednesday?

Taco Thursday?

Taco Saturday?

Will every day become Taco Day?

And if that happens, will the Taco Council finally have to reconsider the beer situation?

These are questions for future generations.

For now, we have a perfectly reasonable taco schedule:

Tuesday: Tacos.

Friday: Tacos.

Beer on Friday: Absolutely not.

Nobody knows why.

Nobody is allowed to appeal.

And Wednesday remains suspiciously taco-free.

For now.

Long live Taco Tuesday.

Long live Taco Friday.

May the shells remain intact.

And may beer continue to respect the boundaries.